It has almost been a year since my last post. Haven't got used to writing blogs yet I guess, lol. Well, it is already 11 months after I got married. Somehow it felt like longer than it was supposed to be. Maybe too much had happened throughout the year. While I was still struggling adapting myself into a new family, I had a condition in April where I had to undergo a c-section immediately. Had around 2 months of rest then only I was fit to work. However, my wound was still painful even after 4-5 months. I discovered it was due to stress, lacking of rest and also overworked. Since then, I quit my job as a part time tuition centre teacher in October and decided to take a good rest from now onwards.
I felt so much better like a part of my burden being lifted as teaching tuition after school contributed partly to my stress. So now I'm left to deal with the rest of the things that make me feel stressful. I guess my main problem now is me living with another family. I am still not adapting well in this new house. Well of course my in laws treated me very good but it was myself that I find it hard to change my lifestyle to totally suit them. I now live a life that is totally different from how I lived and how I was brought up. Initially I was doing well, I was able to force myself to change and swallow every unhappy events occurred with them. I didn't dare to speak up for myself, didn't dare to say no to whatever that was unpleasant to me and was afraid to not do things I was reluctant to do so. In short, I was only pleasing everyone but not myself.
Now, it's to my limit already. I am frustrated and fed up because of the stress I am dealing with every day made my wound recovering very slowly. But still, all these have made me an even stronger person each day. I now know what I want in my life and how I should be living the life that I desire, and not under anybody's control.
I'm still thankful to have a husband that is always patient and there for me when I'm feeling troubled, who supports me in work and everywhere. I hope that we will continue to stay strong until our last day.
That kind of summarizes my first year of marriage. I hope that there will be happier days coming up in the future!
